Autobots Hate Youtube
by inkdragon13
Summary: We humans all know that Youtube can be extremely annoying. However, Bumblebee sees it as a wonderful opportunity to annoy the living daylights out of the other Autobots. Let the trolling begin!
1. Fruit

**Hello my readers! This is my first Transformers movie-verse fanfic. This is a perfect way to annoy the slag outta the Autobots. Ironhide along with the other bots who died are still alive here. This is from Sam's POV.**

**Let's get this show on the road!**

Fruit

"UGH!" Leo groaned, slamming his fist down on the key board of his laptop, succeeding in scaring the shit outta me.

"Jesus, Leo! What is the matter with you?!" I glared at my college friend. We were sitting in the Rec Room with several other bots either sitting on their ginormous couch or just standing around watching TV. It was the middle of summer and everyone, even the bots, would rather be inside.

"It's Youtube!" Leo near shouted.

"Calm down, man! Whatever it is, it's not that bad!"

"Yes, it is! It is taking FOREVER buffering!"

I stared at him. "Leo, you can just get on another computer. You are in a base full of super-advanced extraterrestrial robots. I'd like to think that there is a faster computer around here somewhere."

"Yeah, but the thing is I don't feel like it."

I facepalmed, sighing into my hand. "Good luck with that. I'm gonna go find Bee." Now that he's got me interested in it, I'll go check out a few Youtube videos with Bee. I stood up and headed of towards Bee's room.

…

"Hey, Bee!" I poked my head into his room through the human sized door. My yellow friend looked up from whatever he was doing and clipped out his response from his radio.

"_Hey…Sam!_" His doorwings rose a bit when he saw me.

"You wanna look at some Youtube videos with me?" Somehow, Bee managed to get this awesome computer in his room with cool speakers and a really huge monitor. You didn't even have to worry about videos buffering on it.

"_Sure! Any… suggestions?"_ Bee crouched down and picked me up, placing me on the enormous desk the huge computer monitor was on.

"I was thinking Charlie the Unicorn 2." Before I could even finish what I was saying, Bumblebee was typing the name of the video in. Apparently he knows what video I'm talking about. Before long, we were watching Charlie go up to the Banana Pyramid and saw the weird seal Santa Claus thing. The volume was up loud when the music started and there was a loud banging sound on the wall.

"Will you two keep it down?! I'm trying to work in here!" No doubt it was Ratchet, since Bee's room was right next to the Medbay. We paused the video and looked at each other for a moment.

"You know, Ratchet reminds me of Charlie." Bee stared at me for a second longer and I could see the entire plan forming in his eyes- err, _optics._ He picked me up again and left his room. He went into the medbay and we saw Ratchet working on Prowl, who was lying on an elevated berth. He had his back turned to us but seemed to know exactly who it was.

"Bee, if you are not bleeding massively or if you didn't get your legs cut off again, get out." Ratchet grumbled, still working on Prowl's doorwing.

"I'm glad to see you too." I said sarcastically. Bee remained unfazed as he held me in his hand.

"Well if you want to say something, say it already!" Ratchet growled before turning around to look at the two of us. I could see Bee smiling as he continued to look back at Ratchet, who was reaching for a wrench. If he hits me, I'm suing the government. Then Bee turned on a recording.

"_Charlie, you look quite down  
With your big fat eyes  
And your big fat frown  
The world doesn't have to be so gray!"_

"Seriously, Bee?" I looked up at him, incredulous. If Ratchet finds out I gave him that idea, I am so dead.

"What is the purpose of this recording?" Prowl asked as he stood up from the berth. Ratchet glared at Bee.

"My world won't be so gray if you would leave my Medbay." Ratchet said threateningly, waving his wrench around. Bee's doorwings bounced as he started to act out the lyrics of the song.

"_Charlie when your life's a mess  
When you're feeling blue, always in distress.  
I know what can wash that sad away.  
All you have to do is-"_

"All I have to do is throw a wrench at you to get you out of here." The green medic snarled. He is really scary when he gets mad. I hope for Bee's sake that it doesn't come to that.

"_Put a banana in your ear!"_

"A banana in my ear?" Ratchet's arms went down to his sides and gave Bumblebee a really confused look. I nearly laughed out loud when I heard Ratchet say that. I don't think he knows he's saying the exact lyrics Charlie said!

"_Put a ripe banana  
Right into your favorite ear.  
It's true."_

Ratchet arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, wrench still in hand. "Says who?" Bumblebee started shaking, trying hard not the laugh when he continued to act out lyrics of the song.

"_So true.  
Once it's in your gloom will disappear  
The bad in the world is hard to hear  
When in your ear a banana cheers  
So go and put a banana in your ear!"_

We heard a loud fizzing sound coming from Prowl. "Does not compute. Must find solution to banana song." What is the world is wrong with him? Someone should seriously check on him. He's starting the twitch! I looked up at Ratchet, who looked like he hadn't heard Prowl's suddenly robotic voice. Bee just kept on playing the song.

"_Put a banana in your ear!"_

Ratchet smirked at us. "I'd rather keep my ears clear."

"_You'll never be happy if you live your life in fear.  
It's true."_

"Says you."

"_So true.  
And it's in the skies are right and clear  
Oh every day of every year  
There's sunshine bright on this big blue sphere.  
So go and put a banana in your ear!"_

An exploding sound ended the song followed by a very loud thud. Prowl was twitching on the ground, one optic wider than the other.

"Does. N-not compute. Bananas do *twitch* not make you *twitch* h-happier."

Ratchet spun around and crouched down next the bot on the floor. "Now look what you did! Unless you want a wrench permanently stuck in your aft, you had better leave. Now." Bumblebee got the message and left, still carrying me.

"Is Prowl okay?" I asked him, worried. Bee waved me off.

"_He's fine… it happens all the time." _

"All the time?!"

"_Yeah. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe… usually do it."_ Bee clipped out, using Ironhide's voice.

"Okay…"

…

"Bumblebee."

My friend's head snapped up at Ironhide's deep voice. I looked at him as well. It was a day after the whole banana king thing. I wonder what he wants…

"Do you mind telling me why there is a massive shipment of bananas in Ratchet's medbay?"

**That was pretty fun writing! So, how was this story? Good? Bad? Run for the hills horrible? **

**So, which bot should be next? Any ideas for Youtube videos? Drop a review and I may use it in the next chapter! **

**Peace!  
**


	2. Toast

**Oh the magic of Youtube... Hey you guys! I don't own the Transformers. Not sure exactly exactly who owns the movies but... yeah.**

**Let's get it started!**

Toast

"Are you sure this is even gonna work?" I looked at Bumblebee as we entered the dark room. I had asked Lennox if I could stay over at the base for the weekend. I'm surprised he even let me stay the afternoon. He was really busy. And usually when he's busy with paperwork and stuff, he doesn't let me stay at the base for a long time. After Bumblebee got into Youtube the other day, Bee had been looking at a bunch of different videos. He saw something on one video and wanted to try it out on somebody. Somehow he managed to drag me into this. Why did I let him do that? If we get caught, both of our lives will be in danger!

_"Yeah... saw it on Youtube."_ Bee clipped out, looking down at me.

"Yeah, but that trick only works, like, ten percent of the time! And if he wakes up we are _both_ dead!"

_"Relax... Sam. Everything's going to be fine."_

I glared up from the ground at my friend. "No, everything's not going to be fine! I don't know about you but I _like_ living!" Bumblebee put a finger up to where his lips would be.

_"Shhh! You're gonna wake him up!"_ I instantly quieted back down as we both turned to look at Ironhide sleeping on his berth. I'm surprised he didn't even hear us come in. Well... Bee _is_ the Autobots' scout... I eyed to enormous container of water in Bee's hand.

"...Can bots even... you know...?" I whispered. I feel really weird asking him this. Bumblebee snorted quietly and clipped out his response to my awkward question.

_"You were there when I... lubricated... on... Simmons. Right?" _

I grimaced slightly. I have to admit, Simmons was being a jackass at the time, but what Bee did was just... Ugh.

"Alright, let's get this over with. I'd like to get a nice long head start once he finds out it's us. " I gazed up at my friend. Why would he do this to Ironhide of all people?! Why not Jazz, or Prowl, or... anyone _other_ than the Weapons Specialist? The guy has two ginormous cannons on his arms and he _really_ likes to use them!

I stayed plastered to the back wall of the room closest to the door as Bee went up to Ironhide, still sleeping on his berth. Bee crept closer to him, quieter than I thought possible for a giant robot. I stared at Bee as he placed the tub of warm water on the ground. This had better work.

I honestly think Bee is a mind reader. He looked over at me and said using recordings of Ratchet's voice, _"This should work... Ironhide has the habit of drinking a few cubes of high grade right before he goes into recharge."_

Bumblebee started to reach towards Ironhide's hand slowly as I inched towards the door that I had left open. That thing is open so I can run for the hills if he wakes up. Bee was just an inch away from Ironhide's hand when he snorted in his sleep. Bumblebee jerked his hand away and ducked down in case Ironhide woke up then. Thank God he didn't. Ironhide just twitched a little and mumbled.

"Oh there's my stress toast..."

I gave Bee a funny look. What the heck was he dreaming about? After about a minute, Bee reached for his hand and dipped it in the water. At first we didn't get much of a reaction out of him. I sighed in relief. Maybe it won't work-

Bumblebee held up a finger as Ironhide shuddered lightly. He looked quickly back at me, optics shining brightly. Ironhide shuddered again and grew still. Then he released. Bee played a recording of a guy snickering as Ironhide emptied himself out. I have to admit, the entire concept of it was hilarious! Who knew the hand in warm water trick would work on a robot. But on the other hand...

Seeing a robot piss himself in the bed is a sight I don't _ever_ want to see in my life or any other life.

"Alright, Bee! Let's get the heck outta here!" I tried to look away. I'm _traumatized_ and BLINDED! Bee finally turned and left out the room after something flashed on his wrist.

_"Blackmail." _My jaw dropped. Blackmail?! Seriously? On any other occasion, I would have used the blackmail without a doubt, but this is Ironhide we're talking about! His 'negotiating' is blowing our asses off! I slumped slightly as I followed Bee back to his room.

We are SO dead.

...

A loud angry roar echoed down the hall as I sat on the Bots' couch next to Bee in the Rec Room. Other bots in the room turned and looked down the hall. I could see either fear or confusion in everyone's eyes. I just shrank closer to Bee, trying to hide. Man, I really wish I could turn invisible like Mirage right now. Wait... where _did_ Mirage go? He was just here a second ago...

"SUNSTREAKEEER! SIDESWIIIPE!"

The Lambo twins looked at each other, confused, as the thundering footsteps came closer. Bumblebee placed his hand down on the couch close to me, probably so he could grab me and quickly transform to get outta here. It was only a matter of time before he figured it out. Ironhide appeared in the hall with the most angry, demon-like look on his face. Thankfully Optimus was in the room. He moved in front of Ironhide, blocking our view of him.

"Ironhide-"

"Outta the way, Prime! I need to go use those twins for target practice!" Ironhide loudly growled. After that, I swear to God I thought I heard Prime sigh.

"...What did they do this time?"

"What? We didn't do anything! I swear!" Sideswipe yelped. The twin had started edging towards another hallway. Good call.

"That's what they ALL say!" Ironhide shouted, attempting to move around Optimus, who moved too, continuing to block his way to the twins. Bee looked up at Optimus and Ironhide, the most innocent look on his face. Ironhide told Optimus what happened in a voice so low I couldn't hear him. But apparently the bots could hear him. Almost everyone started laughing and snorting, but a glare from Ironhide shut them up.

For, like, two and a half seconds.

"Dey got you pretty good, 'Hide!" Jazz laughed. Ironhide only snarled louder than before. The twins looked desperately at Optimus and he looked calmly back. I think they were doing that weird silent communication thing.

"...Ironhide, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were out all night on patrol in Shanghai." Optimus reasoned. Ironhide immediately stopped and looked. Then he looked right at us. He made eye contact to me and held it for a good three seconds. Then he looked hard at Bee.

"You. You two did this."

_"Uh oh."_ Bee said through the radio.

...

"STEP ON IT, BEE! STEP ON **IT**!" I screeched in a very unmanly way, clutching the seat beneath me like my life depended on it (and it did) as my Camaro friend sped down the highway at break-neck speeds with Ironhide right on his bumper. For the first time I found out that a vehicle could look _angry_.

I stuck my head out the window to see if we got any distance from him. Wrong! He was still on Bee's bumper, black smoke pouring out of his smokestacks. I swear I can see him _glaring_ at me! How is that even possible?! I quickly shrunk back in and yelled over the roar of Bee's engine working.

"How am I even in trouble? This was _your_ idea!"

Bee's radio turned on. _"Guilty by association."_

"That is _so_ not fair!"

_"Life ain't fair."_

"Come on, Bee- WHOA!" A fiery blue shot flew past Bee, missing him my millimeters. I think I'm missing an eyebrow! I looked at the rear view mirror to see one of Ironhide's smoking cannons coming out his side. Just when I thought Bee couldn't go any faster, he pushed it more. I sighed, sinking into the seat. Optimus just let Ironhide chase Bee out of the base! That is just so _not_ cool. We zoomed past Lennox, Epps and lotta of other people with Ironhide running after us, cannons up and spinning. How the heck did he keep up with a speeding Camaro?! I dared to stick my head out the window as we zipped down the highway to look to see if we gained at least a little distance, only to jump back in as another shot was came close to grazing me.

I guess Bee's staying in the garage tonight. And tomorrow. And the next day...

**So how was that? That was super fun to write, you guys! Thank you to all of those who reviewed my previous chapter! I credit the prank on Ironhide idea to my lovely reader, elita13. Speaking of that, I've never actually seen that work... But now, I kinda do. ;D**

**So, got any suggestions for me? Be creative and don't be shy! Peace!**

**P.S. I was just watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and I was wondering... what was with Starscream and spitting all over the place? Can you help me with this mystery?  
**


	3. Boom

**I am in heaven right now. I. Am. On. BREAK! A week of glorious seasonal free time to return to my stories! *cries tears of joy* I'm so happy. **

**I don't own jack, Hasbro does. This is still Sam's POV.  
**

**Let the show begin!**

"This video is so freaking old!"I exclaimed as I stared at the computer screen on Bee's gargantuan desk. It was three days after that prank on Ironhide and his eyes still flash red when he sees Bee. To avoid getting, you know, mauled, Bee's been holed up in his room the whole time. Thankfully the bots can last a while without energon. Plus, Bee can sneak out and raid the energon storage room at night. The only reason why I'm still alive is that 'no harming humans' rule of Optimus's. I owe the guy my life now.

"_That was hilarious!" _Bee said through his radio. I looked up at my yellow friend and could see a plan forming in his head. Then he looked down at me, optics twinkling with 'innocence'. I threw my hands up.

"No, no, no! I am _not_ getting involved in your plans. The last time I literally almost lost my head!" That shot from oh so_ calm_ Ironhide three days ago nearly took my head off. My eyebrow hasn't fully grown back yet. I had a _really_ tough time explaining that to my co-workers.

"You guys, Prime wants ta talk ya." We turned around to see Jazz poke his head in the room. Bee stood up and faced Jazz.

"_Hey... Jazz. You mind helping us with something?"_ I raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. Who said I was involved? Jazz's visor shone brighter for a second before he responded.

"Duhpends on what it is." Then he started nodding his head like he was listening to a conversation on the phone. It's the silent communication thing the Bots like to do again. Man, I hate that.

"Aw-ight, I'll round 'em up. Tomorrow night in the Rec Room, right?" Jazz smiled, visor glittering. I stared at the chatting yellow and silver bots and wondered what in God's name they were talking about. Or better yet, _plotting_. What was Bee up to? If it's a prank...

I'm sorry, but I _like_ living.

"It's cool, Sam. This ain't that bad of a prank." Jazz looked down at me and smiled reassuringly. I looked over at Bee.

"_He's right."_

"But we need da NEST soldiers' help to make this real good."

"Uh, hello? Someone want to fill me in?" I looked at each of them. Bee's looking at me like he's gonna make me do it anyway, so I might as well know what the hell I'm getting myself into. They explained everything to me and there wasn't any risk of, you know, getting stepped on by angry bots. All we needed was a few willing bots and as many NEST soldiers we could recruit. I'm not participating, but I'll gather everybody around. I smiled to myself as I went off to find a few bots and Bee went off with Jazz to talk with Optimus. This was going to be awesome.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe weren't hard to persuade at all but a few other bots took some work. Most of the NEST soldiers were cool with it, since most of the people I asked where going to be on their break when this happened. Epps had wanted to lighten the mood with the new soldiers for a while, so he was all for this. Lennox was a bit worried about Mearing, but figured nothing terrible could come out of our little plan. The number one thing I had to tell all of them was to keep this only with those who were participating. It would ruin the was warned about it. I smiled mischievously.

Can't wait till tomorrow.

...Next Day...

"You ready?"

"Like heck I am!"

"C'mon! Let's get going already..." There was quite a bit of whispering in the Rec Room between us humans. I noticed the bots staring at us as we worked out some last second plans with really confused looks on their faces. Almost all the humans and all of the bots were in the Rec Room tonight, but the room was big enough for all of us to be in here comfortably. All the bots participating in this were standing up and Prowl was standing in the center of the room. I spotted Bee talking with the cop car and swiftly moving away from him, somehow managing to not look suspicious. I could feel Ironhide giving me a death glare, but he hasn't killed me since Optimus is in here too.

I looked around and found Bee again. We made eye/optic contact and nodded at each other. Suddenly, Bee turned to volume on his radio up loud and played a clip.

"_Everybody jump!" _

Every human in the room looked at someone near them and grinned. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had this delighted, evil look on their faces. Jazz's visor grew real bright. Mirage stood there, anticipating the next moment. The instant after Bee said that, almost everyone in the room jumped up in the air at the same time.

_**BOOM!**_

"AAAH!"

There was silence for a moment as everyone turned and looked at the hole in the floor where Prowl had once been.

"Well _that_ wasn't supposed to happen..." A soldier muttered as we stared into the dark hole. I dared to steal a glance at Optimus. He had this horrified look on his face once he regained his balance and saw the new hole in the floor.

"Yeah it was!" Sunstreaker laughed hysterically. He and his brother could hardly contain themselves. There had to have been a weak spot in the floor that nobody knew about... nobody except the twins! Aw man! We are in _so_ dead! Bee buzzed angrily at the two of them, but you could still hear the laughter behind those buzzes.

"What made you all think this was appropriate?" Optimus said seriously. Everyone shifted under his hard gaze. Man, we _are_ in a shit load of trouble.

"That was not supposed to happen. He merely supposed to fall, not fall through the floor." Mirage answered in his thick Italian accent. To everyone surprise, Ratchet and Ironhide were both having a really hard time trying to not laugh. I thought Ratchet would get really pissed.

"I have to admit, Prime. That _was_ funny!" Ironhide burst out laughing. "Prowler's gonna be pissed." I had never heard him laugh when he wasn't killing Decepticons. Well, first time for everything, right? Soon everyone else joined in when Ratchet.

"I already know he's not too badly hurt. He's probably just angry." Ratchet chuckled. Well, that turned out better than I expected. Even Optimus started to smile a bit. Maybe we aren't in so much trouble after all.

"Since you all have the energy for this, you have the energy for training in the morning two hours earlier." Everyone let out some kind of loud protest as Ironhide smugly crossed his arms over his chest, cannons spinning is satisfaction. I smiled. I'm glad I do not live here! I went to stand next to Lennox, who was staring down the hole that Prowl fell through.

"Uh, where's Prowl?"

**Yay! A new chapter! So what do you think? I remember seeing a scene like this in the show That's So Raven six years ago, but I cannot remember what episode it was. Do you know? Have any idea where Prowl went?**

**Anyway, WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! **

**AUTOBOTS HATE YOUTUUUBE!**


	4. Trains

**I finally got some inspiration for this one! I do not own the video featured in this chapter, nor do I own Transformers. I do own this story, though.  
**

**Let's get this started!**

Prowl was pissed.

No, saying he was just _pissed_ was dumping a ton of sugar on how he really was.

I never thought anyone could get _that_ angry over _anything_! Prowl was far scarier than Megatron could ever hope to be when he was angry. Every bot and human was avoiding Prowl after the hole in the floor incident. He had climbed outta that hole, looking like a zombie climbing out of its grave, covered in dirt and ash and God knows what else. His optics had turned fiery red and he stood there for a second. The Lambo twins were smart enough to calmly walk over to the doorway and run like the Hellhound was biting at their heels. Prowl, with this deadly calm look in his red optics, followed them down the hall. The crowd in the room parted like the Red Sea when he walked past. Optimus even pressed against the wall, trying to get out of the murderous cop car's way.

We still don't know where that hole went. No one was brave enough to go see. Rumor was going around that it was The Hole to Hell. No one fixed the hole either, so it's still there. In the middle of the Rec Room.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe have disappeared. No one could find them anywhere. Everybody knew who was behind it, but everybody was scared of what would happen if they asked what happened to the twins. Even Ironhide got nervous when Prowl was _anywhere_ nearby.

Rumor was also going around that Prowl threw the twins in The Hole to Hell.

I already know Bee wasn't through messing with the older bots, but I know Prowl's off the list. For a very, _very_ long time. But who his next victim was is a mystery to me. I know he's scheming because he's looking up A LOT videos on Youtube. It looked like he was searching for something. I refused to let him involve me in one his plans, but I'm sure as heck gonna watch from the sidelines.

I followed Bee to the other Rec Room (people are staying clear from The Hole to Hell) and there were a decent number of bots in the room. Most of them were talking to each other, sitting on the couch, or just standing around. Bee looked down at me and looked around the room. Probably scanning for his next victims. Ratchet and Ironhide were really deep in conversation on the couch. Neither of them noticed us when we came in, but I'm sure that's about to change real soon…

"_Anyone know where Red Alert is?"_ Bumblebee said, innocently using a recording of Jolt's voice.

"He's in the Surveillance Room." Ironhide said before getting back into his conversation with Ratchet. Bee nodded in thanks and headed back out the room, an evil glint in his optics. I nervously ran alongside him. From what I hear from the other bots, Red Alert is paranoid. I mean, REALLY paranoid. I would see him sometimes n the hallway, but he always went the other way if there were more than three humans in the enormous hallways. Once we reached the room, Bee knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" I'm guessing that's Red Alert.

"_It's… Bumblebee!_" My Camaro friend clipped out. At first we didn't get a response and I thought that he wasn't going to let us in. But the door opened and we saw Red Alert staring _really_ hard at the security monitors sitting in his ginormous (by my standards) chair.

"What is it Bumblebee? And why did you bring the human in here? Do you know how dangerous it is for him to be in here? What if he-"

"_Red Alert! …Calm the hell down! Everything's going to fine… while I'm here." _Bumblebee cut him off, tapping his foot on the ground in an irritated manner. Red Alert seemed to calm down somewhat but he kept glancing at me like I was a bomb or something.

"What do you want, Bumblebee?" Red Alert said cautiously.

"_Is it cool if I show the… bots and humans… a safety video?_" I looked up at my friend. A safety video? That's it? The mention of the safety part made Red Alert's face light up.

"Oh, I'm glad to see you're interested in this sort of thing. Sure, just make sure Optimus is fine with it."

"_Thanks… Red._" Bee left out of the room soon after that and I trailed behind him.

…

Optimus thought it was fine but he didn't look at the video. I guess he trusts Bee enough to not traumatize the others with a video. Normally he does a full data scan on stuff like this. It might be because of something Sunstreaker and Sideswipe did. He said he could gather the bots and humans in the debriefing room in thirty minutes.

I glanced at my Camaro friend as we walked back to his room. Maybe Bee wasn't trying to pull a prank on anyone. Maybe he's actually concerned about our safety. Now that I think about it, it's kinda weird because Bee's already pretty careful compared to some other people around here. I looked up at Bee's computer once we got into my friend's room and I saw exactly which video it was.

Optimus _really_ should have watched that video.

…

Everyone got situated in the huge debriefing room (is there any room in this place that's _not_ huge?!) as Optimus stood at the front. Just about every bot was there, minus Prowl, Sunstreaker and Sidesweipe, for obvious and some not so obvious reasons. A lot of the higher ranking human officers were there too. There was an enormous TV screen at the front of the room as well. Boss Bot's booming voice shut everybody up as he cut straight to the chase.

"Bumblebee has brought a bit of footage regarding safety to my attention and I believe it would be useful to share it with you all." Bee took that statement as a cue to give something to a guy. The guy ran up to a computer off to the side that I hadn't noticed before and placed what looked like a DVD inside of the tray. The lights dimmed and the screen lit up. Lennox was mumbling about what the video could possibly be and I could hear Ironhide grumbling about how this was a waste of time. I just sat next to Epps with a smug look on my face. Thankfully, it was dark in there. The look on my face would have been a dead giveaway.

Soon the video began to play. It started off looking at an animated verion of the sun with as acoustic guitar playing. It was a slow-ish, friendly melody. Right after the guitar started, a British lady started singing and a blue cartoon character came running towards the camera with its hair on fire.

"_Set fire to your hair.  
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear.  
Eat medicine that's out of date.  
Use your private parts as piranha bait."_

Every human in the room crossed their legs at that last part.

One separate character went through the four scenarios the lady sang. I turned around slightly so I could get a look at everyone's reactions to the cute animated characters dying in weird ways. Ratchet is just staring, a _little_ too interested in the video. Both Epps and Ironhide have the 'what the fuck am I lookin' at?' face. I snorted, trying really hard not the laugh when I saw the wide eyed, traumatized look on Red Alert's face. Man, he's that bothered by the video and it's only eighteen seconds into the video!

I know he'll just _love _the rest of it.

"_Dumb ways to die.  
So many dumb ways to die.  
Dumb ways to di-ie-ie.  
So many dumb ways to die."_

I looked over at Bee, who was innocently swaying from side to side by the screen as if the song was the most _normal _thing in the world. Shaking my head, I looked back over to the dancing cartoon characters. The blue one had his hair on fire, while the one next to it had no head (it got bitten off by a grizzly bear). Next to the headless one was a puffing looking one. That one was the idiot that ate the expired medicine. The last one had bones for legs with piranhas chewing on them. What was really strange was that they were all dancing like they were perfectly fine. This is gonna get interesting

"_Get your toast out with a fork.  
Do your own electrical work.  
Teach yourself how to fly.  
Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie."_

I actually heard Ironhide _laughing_ at the character that got electrocuted! Optmus had the most horrified, priceless look on his face. Trying not the laugh, I snatched out my phone, turned the flash off and snapped a picture. Jazz gagged when the last character puked all over the camera. All the humans in the room were cracking up laughing as the chorus of the song played again with the unfortunate (and stupid) dancing characters.

"_Invite a psycho killer inside.  
Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride.  
Take your helmet off in outer space.  
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place."_

"Why would you invite a _killer_ in yo _house_?!" Epps exclaimed. "You gotta have a death wish if you do that!"

"Well, this_ is_ called 'Dumb Ways to Die'." Lennox smiled as the chorus played again, with more dancing characters that die in stupid ways. Most of them were stepping from side to side and spinning around together while others did different things. One was waving its eyes around in its hands. One was in a garbage bag and another was spinning around inside a dryer. Another one was tossing its singing, decapitated head in the air. I still can't figure out how you can get your head cut off by trying to teach yourself how to fly.

"_Keep a rattlesnake as a pet.  
Sell both your kidneys on the Internet.  
Eat a tube of superglue.  
I wonder what's this red button do?"_

Why would you-?! You NEVER push the red button! _Everybody_ knows that! This time the beat slowed down a bit as the characters continued to die in really dumb ways after the chorus played again.

"_Dress up like a moose during hunting season.  
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason._

Okay now, you have to be a _real_ idiot to dress up like a moose during hunting season. Who would do something like that? Then again, they wouldn't be singing it here if someone didn't do it…

_"Stand on the edge of a train station platform._  
_Dive around the boom gates at a level crossing._  
_Run across the tracks between the platforms._  
_They may not rhyme, but they're quite possibly…_

_"The dumbest ways to die._  
_The dumbest ways to die._  
_The dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie..._  
_So many dumb, so many dumb ways to die._

_Be safe around trains. A message from Metro."_

The video ended and everyone kind of just sat there, staring at the screen. I looked over at Red Alert, who had this weird look on his face and his eye was twitching. Ratchet had this dangerously amused look on his face while Ironhide still had the 'the fuck did I just look at?' face. Wheeljack broke the silence.

"Well, it got the message across." All the humans just burst out laughing, earning a horrified look from Optimus.

"What is so amusing about the ways humans can die?"

I shrugged, glancing up at Optimus. "Because the way they were dying was just plain stupid."

"_And that was my show… hope you enjoyed it! " _Bumblebee clipped out, heading for the door. Berfore he left he turned and added,  
_"Remember, be safe around trains."_

…One Hour Later…

That song was really catchy and had a lot of people singing it in the hallways. It spread around really quickly and even a few of the bot were singing it. I heard Ratchet singing it in the Medbay!

I was standing around in the hallway when Epps walked up to me.

"Come on. I got something for you to see." Having nothing else better to do, I followed him down the hall and around a corner. There was a crowd around this one signposted onto the wall. Squeezing my way past a few NEST soldiers, I walked up to the sign and read it.

_The following items on the list below are banned:_

_Lighters  
Piranhas  
Forks  
Toasters  
Pie  
Clothes Dryers  
Rattlesnakes  
Superglue  
Moose Costumes  
Balloons_

Wow. Just… wow. I seriously did not think he'd take it that seriously. Then again, that was kind of the be expected. Red Alert is to paranoid for his own good. Right after that, a few NEST soldiers and I ran around the base trying to find the forks and toasters. Nothing. They just up and disappeared. All the dryers were gone, along with the superglue, lighters and worst of all… pie. All the pie was gone!

He wasn't kidding about 'banned'.

...

I grumbled as I complained to Bumblebee. This was all his fault. The cafeteria tends to have crappy food but the apple pie was great!

"_Well, there is one up side to this._" Bee clipped out. I gave him a sarcastic look. There was a mischievous glint in his optics as he looked at me while I stood on his computer desk.

"_I replaced Red Alert's room lock… with a… big red button."_

**Well, Red didn't say anything about red buttons, did he? I bet he totally freaked. Out. XD**

**I credit the video suggestion to my wonderful reader, Lyra Harp. Thank you for the idea! *hugz* I originally planned on messing with Optimus for this chapter, but the temptation was too great! After I saw the video, I was dead set on messing with Red Alert!**

**You should seriously watch the video 'Dumb Ways to Die'. It is _hilarious_! It's kinda sad that you have to tell people to _not_ die like that… ****Anyway, which way do you think is the dumbest way to die?**  


**Got any video suggestions for the next chapter? I'm going to have Bee mess with Optimus next. See you then! ;D**

**P.S. If you want to download the mp3 song version of 'Dumb Ways to Die' and show your friends how to avoid a premature death, just go to the Youtube video and there should be a link in the description. Don't worry, it's free.  
**


	5. Lock

**I know I haven't updated in a very long time and I want to thank all of you who waited patiently for this update. **

**My attempt to own the Transformers has failed miserably and spectacularly. :( Oh well. Starts in Sam's POV.  
**

**Hope you like this chap!**

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe reappeared.

They just… reappeared one day. Neither of them said anything about what had happened when they were gone, not that anyone really wanted to find out. The traumatized looks on their faces told us not to ask. Prowl was just plain demonic for the past few days and nobody wanted to find out what he did. He might do it on them. Bee felt bad about what happened and created this little system to warn the twins for whenever Prowl was coming. So far it seemed to work.

Speaking of the twins... those two never learn their lesson, do they?

I shook my head as I watched the monitor in Red Alert's surveillance room. Those two had somehow managed to lock Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, Bumblebee, and Optimus in a very small room somewhere in the base. This very small room also happened to be padlocked on the outside and only the bots inside knew the code to get out. I guess Prowl knew the code too, but I don't really think he's going to help anybody right now. Somehow, the twins found out the code.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I stared at the screen. I still can't figure out how in the heck all of them could even fit in there. As soon as I saw them in that room I thought of a box of crayons.

I wonder how they plan on getting out of this one.

...Ratchet's POV...

I am going to murder those twins.

How could I even fall for a trick like this?! After all the elaborate things those two cooked up, I fall for a trick like this. Now the officers of the Autobot Army and Bumblebee are crammed into this tight room. I felt something poke my side.

"Whoever that is, stop poking me."

I got an angry response from somewhere in the pitch black room as soon as I was done talking. "Oh, can it, Hatchet. You're not the one with an aft in your face!"

"...I apologize, Ironhide." Optimus almost sheepishly said. Optimus is the tallest bot on Earth, aside from Megatron, and I already know he's uncomfortable. We all were pressed into each other in this dark place. Saying it was tight in here would be an understatement.

"Ironhide, I would appreciate it if you would offline your cannons." Optimus said in the dark. I could see the cannons spinning in irritation. I hope they don't go off. I'll have one Pit of a time trying to fix somebody's aft. The weapons specialist huffed.

"I'm not going to blow your aft off, Prime."

"_It'll make him feel better if you... turn it off_." Bumblebee clipped out from next the Jazz. Ironhide grumbled and reluctantly powered down his beloved cannons. There was a brief silence. It was getting hot in the room and I was getting very irritable. Someone kept poking me in the side and it was either Jazz or Bumblebee.

"Will you stop poking me?" I ground my denta, trying to sound more patient than I was at the moment. I still don't know who was doing that, but I'm about to find out in a moment. Optimus shifted uncomfortably, earning a complaint from Ironhide.

"_Oh! ...That was you I was... poking. Sorry."_

"Y'all makin' dis worse than it really is." Jazz sighed. I glared in the direction of the glow of his visor.

"No, it can't get any worse than this, Jazz. There is no way for this situation to get any-" Suddenly, the door swung open. A blinding light flooded in and before any of us could move, the door closed.

"_What the heck was that?"_ Bumblebee asked through his radio.

"I am going to kill Sunstreaker when I get out of here." Great. This is just what I needed. One of the femmes was locked in here with us! I believe that was Chromia. She doesn't sound very happy.

"Ya had tuh say somethin', Ratch." Jazz groaned. Someone had just shoved Chromia in this room! Optimus shifted around again, uneasiness radiating from him. Chromia was somehow halfway stuck between her mate, Ironhide, and Optimus. I rolled my optics. There's no doubt that he's in a compromising position, being so close to another mech's femme. However, Ironhide didn't seem to mind.

"How long have you mechs been in here?" Chromia asked, not bothering to greet her sparkmate, an annoyed tone in her voice. Before anyone could answer, she corrected herself.

"No, I have a better question: Who all is in here?"

"I am present, as well as your sparkmate, Ratchet, Bumblebee and Jazz." Optimus rumbled. Now that we were so close to one another, I could practically feel my old friend's voice vibrating through the air. Chromia didn't say anything else, but I got the sense that she and her mate were silently communicating through their bond. I looked around, only able to see the glow of everyone's optics. All of our cooling fans were roaring in the brief silence.

I had believed this way only a human method of cooling, but I could have sworn someone in here is sweating.

"Okay, whoever it is had better move their elbow from my audio receptor." Chromia complained.

"Oops, sorry 'bout that," Jazz said. For whatever reason, Bumblebee's optics grew brighter. Suddenly, I heard clapping coming from the scout's radio. Oh Primus. Bumblebee is going to make this worse for all of us. A song started playing from his radio and Bumblebee moved to emphasize the beat.

"_Riding in the bus down the boulevard  
And the place was pretty packed. (Yeah!)  
Couldn't find a seat so I had to stand  
With the perverts in the back."_

"I ain't no pervert!" Jazz exclaimed, an offended tone in his voice. Bumblebee just ignored him and continued to play the song, increasing the volume.

"Now, how do we know that you're not a- Ow! You are going to regret that!" Ironhide growled. I'm assuming that Jazz kicked him. Optimus intervened before Ironhide could return the blow.

"Enough, you two."

"_It was smelling like a locker room.  
There was junk all over the floor!  
We're already packed in like sardines,  
But we're stopping to pick up more, look out!"_

"Really, Bee? Really?" Chromia asked. I couldn't see if Bumblebee responded (I can't see past Optimus), but he continued to play the song. The chorus kept repeating the phrase 'another one rides the bus' while other humans clapped in rhythm to the accordion being played. I thought I would hate the song, as I normally do with most human songs, but I starting to actually like this one. I found myself tapping my pede to the beat.

"_There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs.  
There's an elbow in my ear.  
There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me.  
Hasn't showered in a year."_

Ironhide growled. His mate just laughed at his response. I just smiled and rolled my optics. I could hear Optimus's cooling fans hitch as I moved my arm around a bit to get the energon circulating again. Someone sneezed while the song continued into the new verse. A human with a deep voice said 'yeah' and was followed by a series of claps and foot stomps.

"_Another one rides the bus, ow!  
Another one rides the bus, hey hey!  
Another one rides the bus, hey-ey-ey-ey ey ey eyyyyyy!"_

While this last verse was playing, Optimus spoke up. "This predicament we are in does remind me of the unpleasant experiences the NEST soldiers speak of when they ride public transportation."

"You're not helping!" I glared up at Optimus, though I already know he can't see me in this dark room. I felt someone nudge my pede with their own.

"He knows dat." I glared in Jazz's direction. I grumbled under my breath about how ridiculous this entire situation was and how I was going to make the twins' next physical living hell. Bumblebee never stopped playing the song while I complained and plotted.

"_Well I should've got off a couple miles ago  
But I couldn't get to the door!  
There isn't any room for me to breathe  
And now we're gonna pick up more, yeaaah!"_

The song ended rather abruptly and there was silence again. Someone kept sneezing in the room, and it was beginning to get on my nerves. It reminded me of a kitten sneezing nonstop.

"Who is doing all that sneezing?" Ironhide said what I was thinking. Optimus answered, that sheepish tone rising in his voice once again.

"The dust in this room is bothering my ventilation system."

"...Wow. That is the cutest little noise I have ever heard." Chromia commented. I could hear the smile in her voice. "Sounds like a kitten."

"Well, while you're talking about the resident red and blue kitten, we need to figure out a way to get out of this Primus forsaken room." I flexed my digits, attempted to get rid of a sensation that felt much like pins and needles. I thought it was uncomfortable before. I was becoming increasingly claustrophobic in this dark room. I felt a servo brush my hip, forcing me to instinctively jerk away and into the mech next to me.

"Watch it!" Ironhide growled. I considered stomping on his pede before the intercomm speaker beeped. All of us stopped and looked up at the speaker. I growled when I heard who was on the intercomm.

**"Revenge has been exacted on a few of the Autobots who allowed Prowl to capture Sunstreaker and Sideswipe."**

I have never wanted to murder someone so much in my entire life. Sunstreaker will pay dearly. Right before I could start plotting again, the door opened. We all tumbled out of our tiny room and into the bright light of the hallway, a pile of tangled limbs. Jazz yelled 'Freedom!' as we fell on one another. We somehow landed on top of Optimus, undoubtedly knocking the wind of him.

We just laid there for a second, panting and cycling cool air through our systems. I have never been so glad to get out of anything before. I lifted my helm to see a flash of silver and gold turn the corner. I groaned and put my helm back down. _Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. _Jazz moved (poking me in the side) and spoke up from somewhere underneath me.

"Sooo... What are we gonna do 'bout duh twins?"

If Bumblebee didn't have armor covering his mouth, I would see a huge, sly smile on his face.

**He he... Sunny and Sides, you're up next! I'm lovin' it! X)**

**This whole situation was real awkward for Prime! The song I used (Another One Rides the Bus) belongs to 'Weird Al' Yankovic. His songs are hilarious! You should check them out. **

**If you got any video (or song) suggestions, let me know! Until next time and have a very merry Christmas! :)**

**P.S. I survived Doomsday! XD YEAH!**


	6. Bats

**Chapter six of Autobots Hate Youtube! Bee's got more tricks up his sleeve. I own nothing!**

**Let's get this started!**

"We've gotta figure out what ta do ta duh twins, you guys." Jazz said as he stood in Optimus's office next to Ironhide. All of the bots who got locked in a closet had gathered in Optimus's office to think about what they planned on doing. I'm only here because Bee wanted me here.

"Whatever we decide, we must not harm them, since they did not harm us." Optimus rumbled from his desk. Ironhide and Chromia sagged a little.

"Darn." Chromia muttered. Bumblebee was occupied with doing something else. I think he was accessing the Internet the way the bots normally do; in their heads. Which makes me wonder why the heck Bee has a computer in the first place.

"So no hurtin' dem. That takes off ninety puhcent of the things I came up wit'." Jazz crossed his arms over his chest. Bumblebee nudged Ratchet and he got this evil smile on his face. I think Bee just sent him a Youtube video to watch. I rubbed to back of my neck. Oh boy.

"Haha, Bumblebee you're a devious little fragger. I believe we have a plan." Ratchet said, getting everybody's attention.

"Well? Let's hear it." Ironhide said impatiently. Right then Ratchet eagerly explained the entire thing to us. The other bots seemed to like it. Even Optimus didn't really have any issues with it. Bee and Ratchet liked this a _little_ too much.

"_I'll go and… 'accidently'… jack up their paintjobs."_ Bee said through his radio, making finger quotes around 'accidently'. I guess that will start the whole plan Bee came up with. I'm gonna stay out of the way on this. Sunny and Sides will make me go splat if I do anything that'll mess up their paint.

…

"BUMBLEBEE!" I looked up from my seat in the chair next to Bee's leg. Bee sat on the bot-sized couch and was going something to this thing called a datapad. Everyone looked up as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe came stomping in.

"Uh oh. Here we go…" Epps said before moving a safe distance away.

"Why are we _blue_?!" Sideswipe yelled. The two of them were the same shade of sky blue. The two of them hate blue. That's why most of the bots aren't blue. They don't want to hear the Twins' complaining. But I'm sure Optimus and Jolt could care less what they think.

"Be just shrugged and started playing a song in response. _"Blue like my Corvette. It's standing outside."_

"I'm not even a Corvette anymore!" Sunstreaker fumed. The room got quiet. Sideswipe grabbed Bee by the armor on his chest and lifted him to his height. The humans in the room all jumped up and those who had guns aimed them at Sideswipe. The bots in the room did the same thing. The only thing in the room you could hear for a few seconds was Earth guns cocking and alien guns whirring.

"Look, you'd better fix this." Sunstreaker growled as his twin held Bee up in the air. My yellow friend just shook his helm, a smug look on his face.

"_You locked… all six of us… in a closet."_ That just got both of them even angrier. Sideswipe shook Bee and got in his face.

"You think I'm playin'?" Everyone in the room had the 'this is about to get ugly' face as they aimed their weapons. I smiled a bit. Everything's going great. Now we need…

"Let him go." Ratchet said in a low voice from behind the twins. Both of them turned to look at Ratchet. Then everyone got the 'we need to get the hell outta here' face. Sunstreaker laughed.

"Oh, I'm scared now. The Hatchet came to rescue Bumblebee!" Ratchet kept the low voice as he spoke again.

"You're supposed to be scared. If you ever put your hands on Bumblebee again, you aren't going to the brig." Right then, Ratchet calmly pulled a _huge_ wrench out of nowhere and held it in his hands in an intimidating manner. When you think of this wrench, think baseball bat.

"I'm going to the brig."

The twins looked at the wrench for a second and pretended that they weren't nervous. Sideswipe glared and taunted him first. "What're you gonna do?"

Now I know that you can say a number of things to Ratchet and he won't care. But the one thing you _don't_ say the grumpy, foul-mouthed, wrench-throwing doctor that came out of the Hole to Hell if you value your life is 'What're you gonna do?'

Ratchet just looked at them calmly (A VERY bad sign) and took a few steps towards them. "You'll find out what I'm going to do." He thumped one end of the baseball bat-wrench in the palm of his hand, his optics growing brighter. "You think I'm playin'?"

"When you're in the washracks, I'm going to be there," Ratchet said in a dangerously calm voice. I looked around the room. Everyone had put their guns away. I guess Ratchet has this one covered. He thumped the huge wrench in his hand again.

"When you're watching TV, I'm going to be there." By now, Sunny and Sides looked really nervous. One of them absently put Bee down (I lost track of who's who with the blue paint going on for both of them) but still had a hold of Bee's armor. During this entire thing, I saw Optimus walked in from down another hallway. Hardly anybody turned to look at him since everyone was focused on Sunny, Sides and Ratchet.

"_Even in your dreams_, I'm going to be there." Man, he's serious… I made a mental note. Note number forty-two on things to not do around the base; threaten Bumblebee.

"Yeah, that's alright," Sunstreaker still had that tough guy act going on, but it was obvious both of them got the message. Sideswipe let go of the armor on Bee's chest and took a tiny step away from Ratchet, and not just because the Doc was in his face.

Sideswipe glared at Ratchet after taking a step back for himself. "You're lucky Prime's here." After that, they both backed off and left down the hall, grumbling about how they would kill Ratchet and how much they hate blue. Optimus looked at everyone in the Rec Room as Ratchet left with a satisfied look on his face.

"Ratchet is not playing."

…

Ironhide, Chromia, Jazz, Bee, Optimus and I all watched the bots' washracks through a surveillance monitor in Red Alert's control room. I glanced up at Bee while he held me in his hand so I could see the screen better. It's kinda creepy for Red Alert to have a camera in the freaking _bathroom_! That bot is way too paranoid.

"Why _is_ Red so paranoid?" I asked Bee. He just shrugged at me.

"Aw-ight, Hatchet. Sunstreakuh's in. Mission's a go." Jazz said, moving a bit closer to the wall mounted TV. The monitor had a microphone on it and the signal was attached to Ratchet's comm link, so you didn't have to have an internal link. Ratchet responded from somewhere else in the base.

"_Ratchet in motion."_ Ironhide had this smirk on his face with his arms crossed over his chest, cannons lit up brighter than usual. Bee couldn't wait for this moment. Even Optimus looked like he was looking forward to the twins being taken down a few notches.

We watched as Ratchet crept into the washracks and carefully closed the door. Sunstreaker was in one of the washrack stalls and sounded like he was already about to get out. That is one fast shower. Ratchet gripped his baseball bat-wrench at one end and held it near the middle with his other hand. We watched him brace himself and take a wide stance like he was ready to hit him the second he stepped out. Ratchet got this stony look on his face as Sunny stepped out of the stall.

"He's in for a really good scare." Ironhide said as we stared into the monitor.

He didn't notice Ratchet at first, when he did, it made me wish I had a camera. His eyes got really huge as soon as he saw Ratchet standing there with his baseball bat-wrench. He stared for a fourth of a second before screaming like a soprano girl and leaping back into the stall. Bee, Ironhide and I burst out laughing at Sunny's reaction.

"That was _so_ worth it!" I said through my laughter. Bee nodded.

"Where's the Big Bad Wolf now? All I see in a scaredy cat!"Ironhide said. Chromia gave him a small playful shove. I just looked at him. Is that the best you can come up with?

"What? It's true!"

Jazz clapped his clawed hands together. "'Kay, one mission down, two tuh go."

Ratchet nodded once on the screen and left out the washracks silently. Sideswipe's next. I smiled up at my friend. This is gonna be really good!

…

Sideswipe was in the berthroom he shared with his brother watching a marathon of _Transformers Prime_. He just sat on the edge of his berth staring into the TV in front of him. Ironhide shook his head as he watched through the monitor.

"A Transformer who is a Transformers fan." Optimus looked down at the weapons specialist.

"The series is very well done, if I do say so myself."

Ironhide gave him a wide eyed look. "Oh, Primus. You're one of _them_."

"Why wouldn't he watch the show? From what I hear, he's in it," Chromia said.

"Ratchet, he is distracted. Proceed in interfering with the television signal and transferring data of yourself into the program," Optimus said.

"_Roger that."_ Ratchet cut the link. We focused our attention back on Sideswipe and the TV. The angle of the camera in the room let us see what was happening on the TV. I think this episode was called 'Scrapheap'. Transformers Prime Optimus was caught in some really cold place with Transformers Prime Arcee.

"Dem hips!" Jazz exclaimed as soon as he saw Transformers Prime Optimus. Ironhide laughed while Optimus got an annoyed look on his face. Bee gave Optimus a thumbs-up, saying through his radio his hips looked great, and he just looked even more annoyed. The show cut back to the Autobot base and we watched Sideswipe, who started drinking a cube of energon. I snorted a little when I saw our Ratchet in place of Transformers Prime candy cane Ratchet. Sideswipe wasn't looking at the screen now (he was still drinking the energon), but he will be soon. Ratchet held his wrench the same way he did before and said, "You think I'm playin'?"

Sideswipe sprayed the energon he was drinking all over the TV.

Even Optimus chuckled at his reaction while the rest of us laughed hysterically. I didn't know what to expect, I sure wasn't expecting that! Sideswipe looked at the energon covered TV and saw Ratchet staring back at him. He lifted the free end of the baseball bat-wrench and brought it down hard on his hand. When he heard the bang, Sideswipe went sailing over the opposite end of berth and hid there.

I laughed so hard, nothing came out. Chromia was on the verge of tears laughing so hard at Sideswipe. Jazz couldn't stop smiling while Ironhide snorted nonstop. Optimus just sighed and shook his head.

"Two missions down, one tuh go. Cut duh intuhference." Jazz said to Ratchet. We got no response, but our Ratchet turned back into candy cane Ratchet.

…

At this point, the twins were really freaked out. They both agreed to recharge on it and that everything would be okay in the morning. We watched the two of them in their rooms, already asleep.

"_Don't ask how I know how to do this." _Ratchet said through the comm link speaker from his medbay. That doctor knows how to do some _weird_ things. Optimus responded back.

"I was not planning on it. Some things are better left unsaid. Initiate processor-transfer."

"_Roger." _There was a second monitor set up so we could see what was going on in Sunny and Sides's dreams. I personally think it's really cool that they can see what going on in another bot's head. I wish humans could do that…

The twins both twitched at the same time and the dream monitor turned on. The whole transfer thing would force both of them to have the same dream, though they won't know it.

"…_I am NEVER coming back here again. EVER,"_ Ratchet grumbled from inside the twins' dream. Those two do some _really_ weird things in Lala Land.

"Good, you are inside their dream. Find a way to get their attention." Optimus commanded. I smiled as I sat in Bee's hand. I bet those two won't be locking anyone in a closet anymore.

We watched the twins turn around when Ratchet banged the baseball bat-wrench on his hand. Both of them jolted in surprise as soon as they saw Ratchet.

"Hey, what are you doing here?!" Sideswipe demanded. The only thing Ratchet said was…

"You think I'm playin'?"

Both of them turn around and bolted for the metal mountains around them. All of us, except Optimus, were laughing hysterically at Sunny and Sides as they ran for the hills. Ratchet smirked and looked up. It looked almost like he was looking through the monitor back at us. He had a smug look on his face.

"My work here is done." With that, he disappeared at the dream monitor turned off. We calmed down a little and talked about their reactions to Ratchet. I just wonder how they'll react to Ratchet after they wake up.

….

"So how have Sunny and Sides been, Optimus?" It was the next day after the whole 'you think I'm playin'?' thing. I have yet to see Sunstreaker and his twin but I already know Optimus has. He looked down at me standing next to his ankle from the bot-sized couch in the Rec Room. I'm kinda surprised that he's in here. He's normally in his office during his free time.

"Their behavior has been surprisingly pleasant as of this morning. There have been no reports of prank-related injuries and no one has come to my offices loudly complaining about their activities."

"I'm sure that's really awesome for you."

"Indeed it is."

We both looked up to see Ratchet walking in with a pleased look on his face. Elita One, who was sitting next to her sparkmate, Optimus, and Chromia stood. Both of them were asking him about the twins.

"I didn't realize you were serious about that, Ratchet," Elita said. Ironhide looked up from cleaning his beloved cannons.

"I expected something like that out of you, sweetie." Chromia looked over at Ironhide. "Ratchet pulled that off pretty well."

"Did you use some old Spice before you scared them straight?" Chromia joked. A smile went across Ratchet's face. What's he plan on doing now?

"Hello, ladies. Look at your mech, now back to me, now back at your mech, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped using femme-scented framewash and switched to Old Spice framewash, he would be like me." If I were stupid, I would have laughed hysterically. But I'm not stupid, and Ironhide is in the room with me. He would blow me up if I laughed. So I just snickered. A lot

It made it no better that Elita and Chromia actually looked over at Optimus and Ironhide! Ironhide looked really pissed and Optimus just looked at Ratchet, an unreadable expression on his face. I stared up at him when he responded.

"If my framewash is considered femme-scented, so be it. Either way, I like it."

**Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-power!**

**Alright the Youtube video Bee showed Ratchet and used to make the whole plan was a scene out of a TV show called **_**Everybody Hates Chris**_**. I think the video is called **_**Everybody Hates Chris You Think I'm Playin'?**_**.Terry Crews was in that show and Old Spice commercials, so I just used both. **

**I'll be messing with Jazz for the next chapter. Got any ideas for me?**

**Until then and let me know what you think! **

**P.S. A Transformer who's a Transformers fan…**


End file.
